Curse of the Crimson Throne

Day One
And so it begins...

Note: This was mostly written by Zach so it’s strongly from Toadie Dixon’s perspective. Everyone is encouraged to edit it to a more balanced perspective please! I don’t want this to feel like Toadie’s campaign!

otherfortunteller.png The setting is a home near the docks. Looked kind of shoddy on the outside, but turned out to be cozy and pleasant on the inside. Well, except for the fact that a Content Not Found: fortuneteller lived there.

We start things off with Toadie arriving first to this house. He tried knocking on the door. When no one answered, he tried the handle and was surprised to find the home was unlocked. He let himself in. Before he’d hardly established his bearings, in walks an Elf. I’m not sure Toadie ever did get her name until much later. He asked if she owned this home. She said no. After an uncomfortable pause, Toadie asked what she was doing here. She said vaguely ‘just looking around’ which would end up being the first of many comments to annoy Toadie tonight. She asked what Toadie was doing here, but upon finding out that she was from out of town, he just answered that he was seeking information about someone (knowing that she couldn’t possibly know about the villainous Gaedren Lamm).

As the ensuing awkward silence become longer and more uncomfortable, the door bursts open and in rushes a Dwarf, flourishing some weapon (Toadie’s recollection was that it was likely an axe or a hammer, although perhaps a sword..?) and demanding something of Gaedren. He seemed a little set back that a bored, irritated human and an absent, detached elf were there to greet him instead of this sinister Gaedren fellow. But Toadie Dixon’s ears perked up at the mention of this hateful person and soon the two bonded over the knowledge that they were both hunting the same man. The Dwarf’s name was Franz Faustin and he was a Hellknight of the Order of the Nail who liked to say things like ‘Ever the janitor, always the king’ or some such nonsense. A few of these sorts of utterances soon had Toadie bewildered and irritated. Why must people speak in riddles instead of just getting to the point! But all in all Franz Faustin seemed like an alright type, considering [that he is a Hellknight]. His breath reeked of booze but he seemed surprisingly present.

After a few minutes of conversation that managed to vacillate between pleasant and bothersome, a pretty enough girl walks in [I’m not sure Franz Faustin ever did close the door after his dramatic entrance] who sits down. It didn’t take Toadie long to realize she was most definitely not his type. I’m not sure anyone had ever gotten under Toadie’s skin like that just on first impression. She managed to answer every question with a question, which made Toadie rather cross. Why couldn’t anyone just answer a damn simple question this evening! He never did figure out who she was or what she was doing here or whether she was good at sneaking until much later.

To be fair, perhaps a big reason why this woman (who’s name was Olive, it turns out) was unable to answer Toadie’s rather aggressive questioning was that a drunk woman tottered in. Well not quite tottered but you know what it looks like when a drunk person is very obviously trying to appear sober. That was this girl. She walked to the table without a word and dropped her head with a thump. Without sitting in the chair. As if this evening wasn’t queer enough.

I can’t remember what she said because very soon after that a gnarled old woman [the Fortunate Teller who’s home we had unceremoniously invaded] waltzed in smug as a peach. She made a great show of how she knew things about us, but everything was said cryptically (of course.) and with a wink. Except when it came to ol’ Toadie. She just came right out and told everyone who he was. It wasn’t any great secret but still. With a twinkle in her eye she offered to tell the group their fortunes, which some accepted more gratefully than others.


Oh sorry I drifted off there!

She went on and on with a load of nonsense. Toadie might regret his surly behavior later as he usually strives to be a much politer gentleman than was on display tonight. Her son was killed by Gaedren Lamm and the lady certainly deserved some more solemn respect and kindness and all that gravitas sort of business for such an ordeal.

In the end she did give the location of Gaedren for which Toadie was genuinely grateful for. He thanked her as kindly as he could (he was still in a rather surly mood from all his many sufferings) and then departed with his only (surprising) ally in The Drunk. ‘Ally’ is used generously here as Toadie really had no idea what this woman’s opinion of him was, but beggers could not be choosers on a night like this. She seemed the most of like mind of the bunch. As they were leaving, they caught Franz Faustin very blatantly hitting on the shriveled crone. Eeesh. Well Toadie and The Drunk went to drop some stuff off at Toadie’s place (he needed to collect his gear as well). They found they were being followed by that aggravating Olive who appeared to be making an effort to go unnoticed. Alika and Franz Faustin caught up soon as well and it seems that the group was going to make a go at getting this Gaedren Lamm fellow together.

TranquilKorvosa.jpg The session ended with the party heading towards The Docks in search of Gaedren. The hushed, incessant bickering of Toadie and Olive gently drift over the roofs of an unusually tranquil, placid Korvosan night. The patient Drunk, the horny Dwarf and the silent Elf trail quietly along in solemn anticipation of what is to come..

Baby's First Harrowing

Hey folks! In preparation for tonight, I’m uploading a better (more complete/relevant) version of the same Harrow reading (approximately) that we had in our first session. (Bear with me on the changes, I totally did some things wrong even after all that reading!)


After telling you the location of Gaedren Lamm, the room falls silent for a moment. Before anyone can say anything, Zellara draws in a long breath and begins to speak again.

“I cannot offer you much, except the chance of revenge. The only other thing I have is the reading of the cards, which may give you some clue into what lies ahead. If you are interested…?”

(Some folks said yes, I believe but I don’t remember which ones (but not Toadie, GOSH))

As soon as someone shows interest, Vellara smiles and immediately stops fiddling with/ shuffling the cards (a habit she’s grown as used to as breathing), expertly skidding nine cards onto the table in 3 columns, 3 cards in each.

“First, we see the past, so that we may understand your future…”

She flips over the leftmost column, top to bottom, revealing The Beating, The Locksmith, and The Snakebite. She looks almost surprised, pausing a moment before continuing.

“A curiously strong telling of both despair, and hope. There is a great malevolent force at work behind the scenes of Korvosa, something long in the making. The people are beaten down and crushed, but the placement of this telling tells me that they also hide a hidden strength… and in that strength lies the keys to the city’s destiny.”

She points at The Locksmith, falling just short of touching the card itself.

“This is a potent placement, one of imminent change. The destiny of Korvosa is changing, and your destinies are linked with hers. The threads of fate do not tell me how, but in whatever is to come, you are the keys to that change.”

She looks around at the party briefly as she flips over the next column, a thoughtful look on her face as she clearly revises her impressions of you.

“The next three indicate the present, things that have happened recently or will happen very soon.”

Her demeanor grows grim, lines in her face sharp as the cards revealed from top to bottom are The Avalanche, The Rakshasa, and The Crows.

“The treacherous power in Korvosa has been very busy indeed. I see here The Rakshasa, indicating that this power is an expert puppet-master, meticulously leading the city to disaster from the shadows… a great loss to Korvosa looms on the horizon, close at hand. All of its people will know bitter loss and despair… and the loss of much that they hold dear.”

She puts a thumb and finger on The Locksmith and The Avalanche, looking each of you in the eye in turn,

“Disaster IS coming. It’s too late to change that. But there is still enough time to avert the worst of it… and again, your fate and Korvosa’s are inevitably tied together. Choose your decisions wisely, (pointing at the Rakshasa momentarily and folding her hands in her lap) your influence may be greater than you think.”

This time as she flips the final column, she appears unable to stop looking at the cards, with great intensity. (Perceptive characters notice her eyes are unfocused, as though she is looking at something a great distance past the cards) She reveals The Forge, The Teamster, and The Uprising.

“The third and final step is what lies ahead. The forces at work here are close to fruition, pushing the city towards conflict, driving it relentlessly toward chaos. That chaos is swelling, like a volcano… and it will explode. There will be a time of unrest and violence in the streets like none we’ve seen in our lifetimes, and very soon. But from the great chaos and diversity comes great strength, and in the hour of our need, it is that diversity that will give Korvosa’s people the strength to go on. Or perhaps it is your diversity that changes Korvosa? The threads are tangled with each other to much to tell.”

She looks up again, looking mildly overwhelmed and very troubled. “Be sure of one thing… there is a time of bloodshed and conflict coming to Korvosa, one that will shake the foundations of this city. There are too many who have lost too much in this city, like all of us here tonight I beg of you, do what you can to ease her pain. Be the justice that Korvosa so desparately needs.”

Zellara heaves a great sigh and slumps in her chair, a hand to her forehead, “That is all I can do for now. Such an unexpectedly powerful reading leaves me drained and tired, and I must rest. Please, see that justice is done, that is all I ask since I cannot do it myself.”

She politely wraps up/chats for a few minutes as she stands next to door, and nearly immediately upon the last person going outside, the light inside goes out.

If you have questions about your reading or interactions with Zellara, let me know!

Session 2 - The Combats
(and the sharks)

This session was combat heavy and story light. So let’s imagine some invisible person were enjoying himself in the Midlands District. InvisibleMan.png He feels safe in this part of town as this district is the home of the Korvosan Guard and the Sable Company and it is heavily patrolled by both organizations. He’s just off of Warehouse Way, admiring the dilapidated state of an abandoned warehouse near the docks. He just stopped to rest after a short walk from the North Point district where he deposited some money at the Bank of Abadar. It had been a good week at work and one doesn’t want to keep too much money on one’s person in this world. Castle Korvosa and The Acadamae loom a short walk to the west in the Heights district. The Midlands though, that’s where it’s at. If one wants to do business, well there are merchants and shops and bustling trade to be had here. The money comes in and out via the city’s shipping industry and if one wasn’t born into wealth, then this is as fine a place as any to try to get it.

Unfortunately, this wealth does attract some of city’s less desirable elements. The Thieves’ Guild has a presence in this part of town (as well as every other part of town, really) and some other petty criminals have committed their petty crimes here.

HouseDilapidated2.jpg As we were saying, our Invisible Man is looking at this warehouse that is in quite a state of disrepair. There’s an armed man (not in uniform so worth noting, but not terribly unusual) and a woman quietly arguing nearby but nothing is really out of the ordinary until another woman totters up to the very building our protagonist was admiring and she kicks ferociously at the door before scampering off. She looked drunk so that might explain it, but it was still an unusual sight. The quarrelsome man and the woman cease their squabbling as the man readies his shield and pulls a javelin from its quiver. The woman actually climbs up onto the roof, showing surprising coordination and agility. A heavily armored and armed dwarf walks up to the javelin man and they both stare intently at the door, waiting. After a few minutes a dirty, ugly old fellow cracks open the door and suspiciously looks around. Upon seeing two warriors who are looking at him with ill intent, he lets out a squeak and slams the door shut, immediately bolting it shut from the inside. The invisible man looks around to see if anyone else is in the street to witness this insanity with him, but the street is clear.

The human and the dwarf look at each other and the human shrugs and walks up to the door, kicking it in. Our voyeur looks in and sees the door apparently was kicked in clean on top of that poor old man inside. The human and the dwarf surround the fallen man and the dwarf raises his hammer (or was it an axe?) when that drunk lady from earlier comes flying out of nowhere, raising her hands and sending a vicious blast of something at the broken door. The magical blast hits the door just as the dwarf’s hammer strikes with a sickening crunch and the broken door didn’t move after that.


There was also a sickly old dog inside, slavering at the mouth and growling as menacingly as a crippled, aged mutt can. The dwarf casually (yet quite forcefully) backhands the pitiful thing with his hammer and died instantly, mercifully.


As our man thought things couldn’t get any queerer, an elf rushes up to the windows and starts casting spells inside. ElfCastingSpells.jpg The nimble, acrobatic woman from earlier is up on the roof looking through holes in the roof (she appears to nearly fall through the roof at one point) and shouting out to those inside. There are sounds of fighting inside for maybe a dozen seconds more and then all is still once again. Our invisible man walks into the warehouse and sees the crumbled body of the old man underneath the door and the mutt’s corpse not far away, it’s head unrecognizable not that it was pretty to begin with. In another room lie the corpses of a gnome and a half orc on the floor. The intruders are quietly and rapidly searching the house for something, but don’t appear to find anything. As they force their way downstairs, they meet a herd of kids trying to get out. They hear someone call out something from deeper inside the warehouse, but our protagonist can’t hear quite what. It seems to placate the kids and they head back downstairs. Our man follows everyone and sees dozens of children talking intently to the intruders. The intruders bandage minor wounds from the previous encounter and clean their weapons and clothes as best as they can manage while they talk to the kids. The acrobatic woman checks an office briefly, but quickly backs out and shuts the door, shaking her head and saying the office was occupied. Our voyeur was surprised that nobody really asked what she meant. It wasn’t until later that our protagonist found out the office was inhabited by a number of nasty spiders.

The invaders finally seemed sufficiently recovered from their earlier slaughter and walked out the back towards the river. In a comic scene, the acrobatic woman tried to stealthily drop down off the deck to the dark ground below and she fell in some mud. The dwarf cheerfully and ponderously followed, not even bothering to really attempt at stealth or making a serious go at landing on his feet. FallinMud.jpg He picked himself up, brushed off the mud and dirt and seemed just fine though. The human man displayed some caution and whispered down to make sure it was all ok down there before carefully climbing down. Our unseen man realized that the elf lady walked out another exit. These intruders seem to do things haphazardly.

Oh and just as our man was thinking that, the dwarf sprinted across a nearby damaged, decrepit wharf at the end of which a ship was moored. Predictably the wharf’s old wooden boards did not hold up the dwarf very well and his leg fell through rather early in the run. Thankfully he didn’t seem hurt. The rest of the party moved forward much more carefully, wary of rotted boards. They seemed to want the acrobat to go first as a sort of guinea pig. The dwarf was having none of that however, and while he was no longer sprinting ahead of everyone else towards the ship (while the rest of the party seemed to desire a stealthier entrance), he did not seem inclined to let the acrobat woman take the lead. Even the drunk woman was managing better.

It wasn’t long before the dwarf nearly fell clean through the wharf, barely catching himself at the last moment and hauling his sorry ass back up to safety. Mind you he was wearing plate armor at this time and there was no chance he was going to swim. Nevertheless, he escaped probable and easily unavoidable death with that lucky grab. Just as he clambered back onto the wharf though, an enormous shark launched itself from the river, biting air where a tasty, plump dwarf had been a half-second earlier.


Our invisible protagonist decided he’d had enough of this nonsense and left. When he arrived back to Warehouse Way, the street outside, the city seemed mostly ignorant of the shenanigans going on inside. Perhaps someone from a nearby house had heard, although he supposed the loudest ruckus had only gone on not much more than a dozen seconds in total. The street didn’t look all that busy.

Ah well who knows. Maybe someone heard. Possibly someone even alerted the Korvosan Guard. Or just as likely no one noticed anything particularly out of the ordinary enough to make it their concern. The invisible man certainly wasn’t going to stick around and make it his business. There was too much killing going on tonight and he would be no part of it.


Pre-game mutters!

Just after a quick and brutal skirmish in the surprisingly moldy (and unsurprisingly smelly) fish-gut factory, our intrepid group of heroes decides to jump down to the boardwalk below, except for Alika who just never could stand the squelch of rancid mud on her fine fabrics! As Alika goes around to the more visible pier on the side of the building, our heroes inch forward on creaky boards held up with creakier ropes and posts, until…


Just as she reaches the boardwalk above, our fine dwarven warrior Faustin stands on a mouldering plank just a moment too long until it snaps, but manages to barely save himself from a spill into the drink. As he takes stock of himself, wet armor dripping with cold blood from the previous fight… a pair of massive jagged-toothed jaws erupts from the scummy dockside water!


SO EXCITED. See you folks tonight! =)

Session 3: Sharks, Alligators, and Scumbags
...oh my!

This is mostly complete, but feel free to edit/add to it!

As Alika crept around the sturdy boardwalk, she saw the rest of the party fighting with a giant shark. Alika definitely made the right choice on that one. Meanwhile, holes appear in the lower boardwalk with increasing rapidity as a jagged-toothed shark tears into it while attacking Faustin and Toadie. The shark mauled Toadie and put some holes in his ribs! Olive helped Toadie claw his way to safety on the deck of the ship first, and the shark ran off when it began to worry that its prey was faster than it.

A much needed quick break is taken when we all get to the top of the ship. Most of the crew had to climb up a terrible moldy log to get up, after such a tumultuous journey there!

Progressing through the ship, Toadie almost steps onto a trapdoor before Alika points it out to him! With a grateful Toadie in tow, the folks then moved on to face Gaedren Lamm (who was waiting for them, having heard a mighty shark battle). He faces away as we all stand at the bottom of the stairs trying to decide who should go first. Alika, with her low-light vision, makes a go at it, immediately prompting Gaedren to shoot an arrow right past Alika and Faustin. An epic battle begins!

A flaming hailstorm rains down on the right side of the ship, covering both Gaedren Lamm and a crocodile that sits in a pit in the middle of the room. Gaedren sets his enormous pet crocodile (Gobblegut) ON FIRE which causes it to go wildly out of control! He then proceeds to taunt everyone in the party with those he’s killed, and mocks the party! Among those he lists as his kills: JP’s husband, Toadie’s junkie friend, and Alika’s parents.

Faustin bravely takes the brunt of the attacks, and is dragged into the pit by mighty thrashing jaws! The ever-vigilant Toadie, seeing his new friend in trouble, leaps onto the back of the beast and pries open its jaws!

Gaedren Lamm is afflicted by a hellish curse from the mysterious drunk warlock JP, but the party leaves him intact and almost unconscious… until he attacks the party with a vial of acid, he is consumed by the wrath of said curse turning on him, a creeping, smoking wave of mossy rot engulfing the scumbag, leaving only a bit of crumbly flesh and scorched bones… he does smell better this way, though. Meanwhile, diamond specks sharp as razors dig into the croc’s scaly skin.

Olive was very creepy with her incessant disappearing, but perhaps we should just be happy that she finally entered combat this session and even delivered our critical fatal blow to that terrible fucking crocodile (aka. Gobblegut, Crocodile Terror of Orphans) before it can tear any more of Faustin’s armor up! When denied the chance to interrogate Gaedren, the enraged Olive appears as if from nowhere with a shriek of rage. As she raises her arm to stab the beast, the nearby shadows of the players (the entire party was close enough I believe, except maybe Alika) rise in unison with her hand, and when she stabs at Gobblegut, the shadows too descend in a flurry of nightmarish stabs before dissipating, leaving the giant croc in its death throes.

Afterwards, you folks find a bunch of garbage and random clutter, as well as a small pile of loot (I’ll let you know more details on that later), including most notably an incredibly ornate, incredibly well-crafted, incredibly out of place amulet. Toadie, after hefting it and running a keen eye over it, says in a nearly hushed tone that it might be worth more money than he’s ever seen.

A hatbox is the only other thing of note here, surrounded by a cloud of buzzing flies. Toadie cautiously opens it, and upon opening it, looks sick and suddenly lurches away! When the rest of the party looks, it contains…. Zellara’s severed head!!! Alika determines that she’s been dead at least 3 weeks… and spots a blood-soaked Harrow deck underneath the head. After carefully cleaning and wrapping the deck with a cloth, Alika packs the deck away.

(You folks can take the head in the hatbox somewhere, but for now I’m assuming it was left on Gaedren’s bed unless one of you wants to carry it or bury it, etc)

With this strange twist of events in mind, the party leaves the Fishery only to discover that madness has overtaken the city! Smoke rises on the horizon, the red glow of distant fires reflecting off the smoke above. The frantic clang of alarm bells sings out in harmony with a cacophony of screams, the clash of steel on steel, shouting, and the occasional detonation of an arcane blast of some sort. As a wing of Sable Company griffon riders flies overhead in formation, arrows sprout from a griffon, trailing blood from the sky as the rider attempts to save the landing, without much success. A hundred yards down the street, they connect with the outstretched hand of a statue of King Eodred II, with bone-crunching results. Neither gets up. The wing continues flying on, some distant objective more pressing.

Over the din of the streets can be heard a Korvosan herald attempting to announce, “The king is dead! Long live the Queen!”, only to be shouted down with ragged cries from the crowd of “Hang the queen!”, and “The usurper whore must die!” followed my more fighting. Through an alleyway across the street, you can see a gang of would-be looters running by on the next street over, pursued by a lone Hellknight, greatsword already dripping with blood.

King Eodred II is dead, and Korvosa is on the edge of anarchy!

(If anyone checks, the rider’s neck is snapped and the griffon is dead)

Loot from the Old Fishery

Update: Added a loot item below by popular demand

Here’s the treasure from the Old Fishery, as promised! Keep in mind that we are not using the +? bonuses on armor and weapons, but just their properties, as part of the focus on roleplaying instead of the Gear-Go-Round game. You should be able to use them without issue using the descriptions provided below!
I know this part is especially tough at first, and I’ve changed it a bit from normal to boot. If you guys have questions about how gear works, I’m more than happy to help.

Found amongst the bodies of the scum slain at the Old Fishery are a few items of note:

2 potions of healing, per page 255 of the Player’s Handbook (PHB).

Darkleaf Masterwork Leather Armor — Level 4 magic item; PHB, pg 228
This armor is a leather tunic worn with obvious use, but the embellished leaves and vines climbing the sides seem as crisp as the day they were stamped.
Property: Gain a +2 item bonus to Armor Class (AC) against the first attack made against you in each encounter.

Amulet of Protection +1 — Level 1 magic item; PHB, pg 249
An amulet of simple design, with a picture of a dancing bear underneath the moon set in silver.
Slot: Neck
Enhancement: +1 item bonus to your Reflex, Fortitude, and Will defenses.

Catstep Boots — Level 3 magic item; PHB, pg 246
Item Slot: Feet
Property: When you fall or jump down, you take only half normal falling damage and always land on your feet.
Power (Daily): Free Action. Gain a +5 power bonus to your next Acrobatics check or Athletics check.

Abalone-Shell Holy Symbol of Shelyn’s Hope — Level 3 Symbol of Hope, PHB, pg 237
A beautiful abalone shell, with a carefully marked image of a beautiful woman holding a glaive in the crook of one arm, hair dancing in the wind.
Implement (Holy Symbol)
Critical: +1d6 damage on a critical hit
Power (Daily <> Healing): Immediate Reaction. You can use this power when you or an ally within 5 squares of you is hit by an effect that a save can end. You or the ally (whichever was chosen) gets +5 to saving throws versus that effect.

In a footlocker near Gaedren’s nasty bed, locked with a rusty lock (which while a complex mechanism, the lock itself is rusty and easily broken by a kick from a certain no-nonsense dwarf or Toadie) are some treasures, each of these treasures are wrapped in cloth and tied shut with twine:

- the holy symbol of Shelyn (as noted above)
- a narrow teak cigar case inlaid with bits of jade (25g)
- a 2-lb gold ingot worth 100 gp bearing the Cheliax coat of arms (not a problem in Korvosa)
- a fist-sized scrimshaw carving of a kraken with garnets for eyes (200 gp)
- a silver ring with the inscription “For Emmah — the light in my nights” (150 gp)
- a highly realistic (and scandalous) figurine of two entwwined succubi (450 gp)
- a gem-encrusted frying pan, long past its beautiful days… some villain actually cooked breakfast in it, and it’s never been the same since. (originally 250 gp, now worth 25 gp)
- 25 gp in silver and copper in the office desk/ on bodies

950 gp in valuables / loot
(For simplicity’s sake, I will assume these are all sold as one big pile(unless you folks decide to keep some of it for some reason), but we do need to have you folks find a store in-game at least the first time before selling!)

And the item that stood out from everything else, an incredible ornate bejeweled brooch with a broken clasp:
Even to the untrained eye, this brooch is obviously the most valuable object in the entire collection, perhaps even worth more than everything else here combined. Upon closer inspection, it is a circular gold brooch depicting a pseudodragon and an imp coiled around each other in an almost yin-yang pattern. The pseudodragon’s eye is an amethyst, while the imp’s eye is an emerald. The brooch itself is worth 1,500 gp, but there’s something about it that seems so familiar… Toadie lets out a low whistle, expressing his appreciation for its value.

I hope that’s good for now, please let me know if I’ve missed anything from last session!

- DM Cory

And so we got a job!
Workin' for the man..

I didn’t get to this right away so I’m going to do a quickie. Bullet form. No bells & whistles.

  • Zellara the Fortune Teller can somehow speak to us through the magical deck of cards that Alika picked up from Gaedren Lamm’s rotted boat.
  • We took Zellara’s head to the Gray District and paid a small fee for them to bury it somewhere nice. No questions asked! It was almost peaceful there compared to the unrest an near-rioting in the rest of the city.
  • Oh yeah the city is nearly rioting.
  • We saved a young noble! Maybe Cory can remind me what his name was. He might be a useful contact later. Toadie was under the impression that the guy felt he still owed us even despite the whopping 50g payout (’it’s all I have on hand right now!‘). But really the goons probably had a point in general (wealth and power inequalities and probably other legit beefs but…) but you don’t take your grievances out on someone you don’t know at all. Be smart and moral about it people! That’s what Toadie thinks anyway. Good grief.
  • We learned that Franz — god, Faustin (I’m still doing it unintentionally) — has Toadie’s back! I don’t but it sure looked like everyone else was gonna leave Toadie to stand up to the rioters alone. IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO PEOPLE!
  • Someone remembered that the Amulet we looted from Gaeden’s place was property of Queen Ileosa. The party was split on what to do with the amulet with Toadie wanting to return it to the queen (there was a real nice ransom offered) but also insisting (somewhat obnoxiously, he has a habit of insisting and bossing and whining and assuming an awful lot in an awful short period of time) that the party reach a consensus since we couldn’t very well split the amulet 5 different ways. Of course Olive would be the one to raise the noisiest objections against Toadie. After a night of sleeping on it, the party maybe got a little bullied into returning the amulet to the Queen.
  • The Queen’s Bodyguard is hot!
  • She’s also all business Faustin!
  • And maybe lesbian.
  • Toadie wasn’t sure about the Queen. Despite standing up to the rioters the previous day, he did actually sympathize more strongly with them than he did with the Queen. She sounded like kind of an awful bitch, honestly. But she sure changed Toadie’s mind! She seemed business-like, polite, stern, fair and she helped us get a job with the Korvosan Guard which is like, Toadie’s dream. Olive would be the one to express reservations. JP actually got a little miffed with Toadie for referring to the party as ‘Toadie and his companions’ which was yet another faux pas that may be grating on his new friends by now. After getting bitched out by JP (her version of bitching someone out is a raised eyebrow and a wry statement but it embarrassed Toadie a little) twice (yes he accidently did it again) he’s going to make a real effort when he’s speaking on behalf of the party to introduce everyone like equals and not like his followers.
  • We have housing with the Korvosan Guard now in the Midlands District! So ya’ll can move your smelly possessions out of Toadie’s tiny cramped hovel! Actually his stuff might just be safer in the Guard Quarters. Maybe he’ll just up and move out. He’s got money now, after all.

And that’s where we left off! Fill in anything I missed or misremembered! As always!

Reconnaissance and Session 5
The one with crossdressing

I got probably 60% or 70% finished with a great big long write up of Sessions 5 & 6 before my browser crapped out and I lost it all. I’m now tackling it again, but the emphasis for now is going to be on Toadie and it’s probably gonna be concise as I only have 30 or 40 minutes before I have to jet for our Session 8! (note: I failed to finish before the session)

So The Companions (as we now fancy ourselves after the party sat Toadie down and explained that we were not going to refer to ourselves as ‘Toadie and His Companions’ any longer) started Session 5 off headed to an inn in the Midlands district. It was a nice enough place and enough of an upgrade from Toadie’s hovel that he immediately decided to stay there while room and board were paid for by Cressida and the Korvosan Guard.

As a quick reminder, we’d left off Session 4 with The Companions being contracted with the Korvosan Guard and tasked with bringing in Verik Vancaskerkin dead or alive (but with a bonus if alive). There was very little information other than the fact that he was a deserter and may have convinced some fellow Guardsmen to join him. He was rumored to be hanging around All The Worlds Meat, an old butcher shop. We didn’t know why he deserted, but it was assumed that it had something to do with the riots in the streets protesting the Queen’s ascension to power after the death of King Eodred.

The Companions were all in agreement that they wanted to gather some intel on the situation before diving headlong into their mission. After all, if you’re going to be abducting someone (or likely killing them in the attempt), you make sure as well as you can that you’re indeed being morally responsible. Nothing makes you feel like a bigger asshole than killing a pretty decent person minding their own business. But deserters are deserters and as far as Toadie was concerned, a Korvosan doesn’t just abandon his post no matter the political climate. Deserters must be brought back and justice must be served. The alternative is chaos and anarchy.

After unpacking their belongings in their rooms (Olive got the nicest room at the far end of the hallway upstairs — the only room with a window and curtains!), the group moved downstairs and talked their next move over coffee and alcohol. The bartender downstairs didn’t know much as far as I can recall and the party was split as usual on how best to go about gathering information. And by ‘being split’ I mean mostly Toadie was making suggestions on what they could do and everyone (especially Olive) kept insisting on all the many reasons why they were all bad ideas. With gritted teeth, Toadie forced a smile on his face and suggested that perhaps The Companions would get more information if they split up. And so he left in search of a half decent pub in the area.

After spotting the first place that felt about right, Toadie went in pretending to be a merchant from Korvosa’s rival city Magnimar. Got some lunch and a drink and went about asking where he could get some cheap meat for his employees. Eventually he was able to steer the conversation to All The Worlds Meat. Didn’t get a lot of useful information, but on the way out, the barkeeper pulled him aside and told Toadie something mysterious about asking for ‘the night’s special cut’ if you want some muscle. Toadie initially misunderstood this to mean something about this special meat having an exceptional amount of protein or something, but then his old street smarts and history dealing with some of the riff raff of the city reminded him (meaning the group finally told Zach) that this hint was more about hiring some thugs to do unsavory work. The barkeep would say nothing more, so Toadie finished his meal and departed with a friendly nod and little extra on the tip.

On his way out, Toadie noticed a fellow hunched over, vomiting his guts out. The guy looked familiar and after a moment, Toadie realized it was Grau Soldado, a fairly new arrival to the Korvosan Guard. This man was a renowned student from Orisini’s Academy who was rumored to depart under scandalous circumstances in which no one really knows what happened, but the gossip had it that it all had something to do with love and Sabina Merrin and Vencarlo Orisini. Regardless, Sabina ended up Queen Ileosa’s bodyguard, Vencarlo with a scar above his cheek and Grau in the Korvosan Guard.

Well Grau was a mess. He wanted to drink more. He passed out. Toadie practically carried him back to the in that the party was staying. Set him up in his room. Tried to make sure he wouldn’t choke on his vomit and left. The group still wasn’t back so Toadie decided to head to All The Worlds Meat and see what this special cut business was about. On his way out, he passed the gang getting back from their reconnaissance efforts. Toadie was confused why they were bringing a poorly dressed dwarf woman with them. Oh but that was just Faustin dressed in what looked suspiciously like Olive’s window curtains from her nicest room. Toadie was about to ask… but no. This group was an odd bunch and their explanations were often vague and not terribly helpful. Best just to let that one go. After exchanging brief pleasantries and explaining what everyone was about, Toadie went on his way on the gang went on theirs.

Fortunately, All The Worlds Meat was just down the street from the inn. There was a short line to the door with some really ragged looking folks. Apparently they were lining up for free food. Toadie didn’t especially fit in with his leather armor and sword at his side but whatever. Folks were allowed to enter one at a time and always exited with a parcel of food. Finally it was Toadie’s turn to enter the shop. There were two men at behind the counter. The fat one looked like he might die from heart trouble at any moment. The other fellow had a long, sharp nose. There was no sign of Verik. The men asked what Toadie wanted, seeing that he probably didn’t need free meat judging by his appearance. Toadie said he was looking for the night’s special cut. They seemed excited by this, offering a price (I think around 50g or so) and saying they’d take care of just about anyone and make sure they never bothered Toadie again. Toadie chuckled conspiringly and said that he just wanted to make sure that this was the place as he’d heard and that he’d be back tomorrow with the target and details. After dozens of seconds of winking and chuckling and general dumb hobnobbing, Toadie was able to pull himself away and he headed back to the inn.

How confusing that these folks both feed the poor for free and also contract to ‘make people disappear’. Toadie was looking forward to a chat with this Verik once they took him in to the Korvosan Guard.

Back at the inn, The Companions were excitedly talking and gesticulating over one of those meat parcels. Turns out Alika had asked for a ‘special cut’ and been willing to pay with money. Turns out also that this meat was human. The Companions were looking more and more like they were justified in bringing Verik back to Cressida and The Guard for questioning and for justice! And Faustin was still dressed as a woman.

And that’s where we left off! The Companions were making plans to sneak into All The Worlds Meat that after nightfall while um, Faustin went on a date. With the fat dude from the butcher shop. Well done, Faustin.

Well That Was Unexpected
In which the job gets done

I don’t know why everyone’s so shocked the job’s done. This lot. I tell ya, they couldn’ keep track of themselves on the wrong side o’ town. Honestly, I’m a bit surprised they’ve lasted as long as they have, considerin’. Still, most of ‘em ain’t so bad. JP‘s kind of soggy and Toadie’s a bit of a thicky, but they’re a right lot better’n Gaedren ever was. Arsebiscuit.

So yeah, we came up with a grand old plan to get the wheezy old geezer out of the meat shack and distract ‘im with Faustin. How that worked out is anybody’s guess but seems I’m outta curtains now. Bet I can con the innkeep into puttin’ it on Miss Prissypants’ tab. I sure as shingles won’t be payin’ that bill. Anyway, I climb up the ladder and crawl over to the window and whosit is asleep. ASLEEP. Now you tell me if those ain’t the ripest pickin’s you ever heard of. So I go inside and make sure the bloke is nice and unconscious right? Easy as pie.

But then I start to get bored ‘cause nobody’s about and Kieran’s always been the brains in these operations. What’s so important in this gent’s office? So I poke about and find some things what I think might fetch some useful information and wait. And wait. And wait. And finally that fancy elf comes up the ladder looking all confused about her face and I’m tryin’ to get her to come over and she’s looking at me like I’m speakin’ another language and eventually she starts to seein’ the light and creeps over (not as good as me, but then she’s not me). I pop up with the chap—who is heavy!—and eventually everyone’s got the good sense to get a wagon and next thing you know it’s ZIP! Down the alley and no ma’am we can certainly wait until morning to get paid. Honestly. Cross heart they waited.

But we celebrated, too. Well, much as we could. Turns out JP and elfy can’t hold their liquor much as they like and Faustin had too much of a good time seems like. Kept trying to tell Toadie what the job was, but his brain thinks too hard about it and couldn’t keep up. Walls is easy once you know how to be less. Oh well. We keep it up I might be outta this hole yet.

The happenings of 1\29\2915
this is what you get when other people don't post :)

So I lost my work on a real post so instead of my work you are going to get Juniper’s quick account of the last assortment of happening…

Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair; nothing remains round the decay of that colossal wreck boundless and bare…

My eyes opened as the cruel rays of the sun snuck through the shambles of a window that ruled a wall of what i can only assume is my room. Life after my wandering has gotten complicated. Complicated, what a silly, indescript word. My life has become a mix of escape, mania, and danger. Sometimes, I wander in the midst of this world seeing glimpses of happening like alligators and sharks trying to eat short, horny mailed creatures and at other times I see the grit of things. The wood chipped on this inn, the rank smell of the man down the hall, the chatter of people that apparently are in my cohort, Sneaky and Silly. Sometimes, I am blissfully unaware. Wandering a midst of words and happenings. That is the use of the Silly. There is direction in that one even if he is a bit daft.

Suddenly, I feel the coaxing of the midst. I’ll be under soon. Unintelligible and delightfully free from pain. Pain. Perhaps, first I’ll… First I’ll people. Yep people. Peer in the window and there is pukey. Silly must have depuked him. Silly, Silly. Wander down stairs and who’s there. Horny passed out, Sneaky chattering and Silly doing food stuffs. Pretty face comes down afterwards. She talks of rabbits. Rabbits! Son liked rabbits. Son liked many things. Rabbits, rabbits, rabbits. Silly and Sneaky say no to rabbits. Off to money things. Don’t be last! Race to stay in the front with Silly.

As we go Pretty face sees something interesting. It is a voodoo doll of one of the guardy people. She buys it. I want one. I want a rabbit one. Nothing but silly peoples. Stupid people. If I want to hurt people I can catch them. Rabbits on the hand with their hopping and running. They should have voo doo dolls.

Suddenly, I’m back and painfully aware. We are standing in front of some regal looking fellow with a multitude of ridiculous voices. Immediately I don’t trust him as I see him eyeing Sneaky with a lustful gaze. Sneaky is far too tiny for such things. As we wander through conversation with this fellow and the Lady of the Perpetual Drug Abuse I learn of a new purpose to direct my rage. Some fellow on the docks who needs discovering. If I can kill then so be it. Ready for the next adventure I follow Pretty face. She tells me her version of secrets. Sneaky shouldn’t be trusted. Silly woman. Trust is for no person. I’ll remember her warning though. I will need gold if I want to keep causing pain to others and Sneaky isn’t to be trusted.
We wander to the docks with the multilingual man and everything goes blank. Clouds. Memories. There isn’t pain here. I think I see a bar? Is it on the docks? Where are we? Why? Is Sneaky sneaking? No. That is my son. Wait, he’s dead. Why? I don’t understand. I hear myself saying I will help make someone a prostitute. Wait, that doesn’t make sense.

My name is Ozymandias, king of kings.


I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.